Posts Tagged ‘work ethic’

A Day in the Life: Semi-Lazy Sundays, My Unexpected New Book & Other Ruminations

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This is what I call a “State of the Union” type of post, the kind about everything and nothing all at once. Sort of like writing an email to a friend, like how we used to write letters back in the day — do people even communicate this way anymore? Or do we just hope our friends read our blogs and see our Facebook updates?

It’s Sunday afternoon as I write this, and it’s grey and misty outside, a strange combination of fog, winter rain and the sound of melting, dripping water everywhere. I’m making a huge bowl of what I call “fancy ramen” for brunch, although at this point it should probably be called “linner.” I’m actually dictating this post using the voice function on my iPhone, which strikes me as both ridiculous and wonderfully modern at once. I spent the morning watching my favorite TV guilty pleasure “2 Broke Girls” on DVD, did a lemon mint face mask, read Howards End. I vacillate between having a leisurely Sunday morning and working in the evening or the other way around — I can’t figure out what would be better. Ideally I take the entire Sunday off and just relax, but with a full-time job and my own creative projects, that often means, yep, I have to work Sunday. It’s okay but sometimes it really, really sucks.

Did I mention how much this Mercury retrograde is kicking my ass? Basically it’s destroyed my old site. Nogoodforme.com got hacked into and wasn’t working and I couldn’t figure out how to fix it and the hosting “service” I’ve been using over ten years was absolutely no help. So in the end it became clear: I needed to re-create the site entirely. I made a backup of the site itself, then made a backup of all the content through WordPress…or so I thought, checking the files a few times. When I went through the process, I discovered the backup of the content was corrupted so it only restored content up to 2008. Then when I went to the full server backup, I discovered it was gone, a victim of some server glitch or maintenance. So basically…four years of blog writing, GONE. Thanks a lot, WordPress and Dreamhost! So basically, yes, that was a full day of honest to God suckage, and if anyone tells me they don’t believe in Mercury retrograde, I will punch them in the face.

It makes my blog-to-book project especially poignant, I guess, which I’d been working on as a side project since the beginning of the year. Little did I know that my whim to find out how many words in total I wrote for NOGOODFORME would turn out to be the only saving grace in this situation. After Liz and I authored our final goodbye at our old blog, I was curious: I wanted to know just how much work I put into my nine-year endeavor. So I spent a full week cutting and pasting all my entries and portions of group posts into a Word document. It was seriously so mind-numbing at first, but then as I went through every single post and page on the site, I actually was amazed…I couldn’t believe how much I had written for the blog. (It ended up over 100,000 words! To contextualize, the average word count for literary novels is between 80,000 to 100,000 words. To Kill a Mockingbird, for example, is 100,388 words.)

once I realized how much I wrote, I thought it would be a nice idea for myself to print out a private book copy — a nice way to commemorate a beloved part of my life, you know? I had done things on Lulu before and thought I’d go that route again. But as I fiddled with the manuscript and got it ready for formatting, I realized: I had kind of an ideal project for self-publishing, something I had been curious about for awhile. I could do my favorite thing: I could make a book!

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Birthday Letters: 36 Things I Learned Last Year

Tomorrow is my birthday, which I feel so many things about. Happy, because I like celebrations and commemorations. And excited, because my birthday means cake and ice cream, and fireworks are coming soon! But also introspective, because I’m older and supposedly wiser, but sometimes I wonder exactly how. And maybe even a little weighed down upon, because, you know: the march of time and the press of mortality. The endgame approaches.

I like the idea of years building upon each other, like pieces of puzzles revealing just a bit more of a bigger picture — and at the end you see what a beautiful portrait you’ve lived with your time on earth. I like themes, lessons, the sense that I’m progressing. Maybe these are illusions wrought by the ability of human beings to occupy different existential time zones at once: to be in the past, present and future, often in the same moment. If these are illusions, then I appreciate how beautiful and comforting they are.

Here I am in another year: sitting on a cloudy day at my favorite coffeeshop, typing away on the small, tiny netbook I favor now over my more robust laptop. I am drinking an iced chai as usual, and I’m feeling hungry, craving fresh fruit and cheese. The coffeeshop, the beverage, the writing and thinking and even the hunger: I do this a lot, and I anticipate I’ll be doing this more in the future, which makes the moment seem not so special.

But there’s the way the light streams through the window, the magic hour making everything seem enchanted, even a weird symphonic version of “Scarsborough Fair” on the stereo. The conversations surrounding me: what books people are reading, a Tarot card consultation, a Bible study group, a family planning a wedding. There’s the smell of orange blossom white tea floating in their air and the sound of quiet love songs played on harps in my ears. There’s something lovely in every moment, and today I like to pretend they are all gifts for me.

These are the things I’ve learned in the past year. One for each year I was. I did a teeny version of this last year; this year felt like such a huge growing and learning and loving kind of year, I felt the urge to get epic.

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Sparks: Jennifer Egan, Pomodoro Technique, Roseanne Barr

Just a few things that have been inspiring and sparking me lately, giving me a bit of lift as I work through the last bit of novel for this major revision. (Aiming for this Thursday! I am so close with this pass! I can feel it!) Some of it is writerly inspiration, some of it is productivity geeking-out, and some is just good old-fashioned feminist inspiration and funny ferocity. Happy mid-May, lovelies!

JENNIFER EGAN

I freaking love Jennifer Egan — what a smart, elegant writer! I love her ambition, flinty intelligence, her willingness to try all kinds of things in her work. I also love that she wrote about my hometown once. This interview was great in giving a little window into what motivated her to become a writer, and the journey she took to do it. There’s all kinds of beautifully mundane detail — apartments she wrote in, what she ate while she was struggling, all kinds of things that color memory. It’s strangely comforting to always remember that everyone starts somewhere, even a Pulitzer Prize winner!

THE POMODORO TECHNIQUE

I’m a bit of a productivity geek; my Virgo rising really takes to personal organizers, time management and other beautifully nerdy pursuits. It’s partly necessity, of course, because I juggle a lot of stuff, but it’s partly a weird love of life experiments. I like seeing how little adjustments can make big impacts. (Or not, as often the case may be!) I was never a super-fan of the Getting Things Done system that everyone on the Internet seems to love; I’ve realized that making extensive lists just makes me feel absolutely anxious. (Let me qualify; I do make them in a project sense, but not in an everyday To-Do list. In fact, I stopped keeping a daily To-Do list because it was only freaking me out so much.) Recently I discovered the “Pomodoro technique” to doing stuff. It’s kind of weird to explain; it’s when you do tasks in 25-minute windows, or “pomodoros,” which is the Italian word for tomato. (So cute!) After each pomodoro, you take a 5-minute break. After three or four pomodoros, you take a more substantive 15-20 minute break. There’s all kinds of rationale and reasoning for this, but it’s really that simple. And for some reason, it works! There’s something about the 25-minute segment that really works for me. I think it’s because it helps you break up your day’s work in chunks (I found myself giving myself mini-goals for each pomodoro, like, “Work on the massacre scene for this pomodoro”) and it builds in breaks instead of letting you plow through till you’re tired. It’s great! I really recommend doing it. I feel like my writing time is so much for effective now because of the little pomodoros! Plus, you get to think “pomodoro” all the time, which is just beyond cute.

THIS AWESOME ESSAY BY ROSEANNE BARR

Before Tina Fey, there was Roseanne Barr! For anyone who’s ever loved ferocious, funny women, this essay is for you. She’s a handful, of course, but I admire her balls and her fiery spirit. It takes a lot of guts to go up against the TV industry, studio executives and the whole power structure of Hollywood, so kudos to her for doing it.

Advice That I Wish Someone Gave Me After Getting My MFA

The end of 2010 marked approximately six months after I got my MFA from film school, so it was perfect time to take stock of the distance I had traveled, where I was going and all that good “big picture” stuff. Then, @spidvid over at Twitter asked for post-grad film school advice, and a few other friends of mine talked about our experiences after graduation and compared notes, which got me thinking. The logical conclusion to all this introspection? Blog post, naturally! I actually ended up doing a lot of these suggestions here, but not in a guided “here, Kat, do this and you won’t freak out so hard when you graduate” kind of way. More like a “WTF DO I NEED TO DO TO STOP FEELING THIS ANXIETY” walking-in-the-dark kind of way. In other words, trial and error. Avoid my abuse of all caps and keep these in mind when you’re rounding the final lap of an intense creative immersive experience and face the abyss of post-grad life. It doesn’t have to be such an abyss!

Write down a list of everything you learned in school right after you leave it.

No, I don’t mean some memoir explaining your creative evolution or anything fancy like that. This sounds way more daunting than it really is — it really is just a list! I also find that it’s really useful to do this with any concentrated experience, like a workshop, or a class, or even a particularly challenging work gig. You don’t have to go into mega-detail — it’s really just a quickly-jotted list of concepts, practices, tips, tricks, ideas, etc. that you absorbed during your experience. Just try to jot down everything, from the most basic “I’ll never forget that” info to more complicated, personal realizations. I still have mine in a PDF, and it’s got stuff on everything from technique to production to psychology that would make very little sense except to me and other film school people. Hilariously enough, it’s called “WHAT I LEARNED IN FILM SCHOOL.” Here were a few things on this list:

  • 180-line rule (a nerdy directing thing)
  • Wiping the shot at the beginning (another nerdy directing thing)
  • Always try to have actors enter/exit frame
  • Where does the camera have to be to have maximum dramatic impact
  • Generative images
  • “Begin late, leave early”
  • Using events to create sense of future in scripts
  • Visualize the day you want to have on set before you actually get there
  • Don’t put out chocolate in craft services till afternoon — too early makes people lose energy early in the day, but it’s a nice boost in the afternoon when energy lags (a producing thing, but kind of applicable to everyday life!)

You’d be surprised how much you’ll forget once you get caught up in the stream of life, so it’s great to have a record. You’ll read it even a few months out of school and get a big kick out of all that you learned. You’ll get an even better kick when you look it over and realize that you could even add to the list, which is a great sign that you’ve kept learning and growing, even well past graduation date.

Start working on your post-grad projects way before you graduate.

Even if it’s just to suss out ideas or find collaborators, it’s important to plant serious seeds to projects you want to work on when you leave school. You’ve just spent a concentrated, intensive period of time running at a creative high (or running on empty!) You want to keep creative momentum going. Give some thought as to where you’re at when you’re ending: are you poised to take advantage of momentum? Are you in need of recharging your batteries? Then design a project that fits. My advice would be to do something manageable, with a clear, discrete goal — there’s nothing better than being able to say you finished something just a few months after you graduated.

Start working in general before you graduate.

Yeah, you’re super busy and burnt out and stressed. That’s just part of being in film school, or perhaps grad school in general. But the stress that comes from engagement and doing is PEANUTS compared to the anxiety you’ll feel from the fear that you may be NOT DOING WHAT YOU LOVE. Especially in a creative field with no real employment structure or route to security, you need to start building contacts and experiences outside your school’s sphere before you leave it. Find some small way to engage in the larger field — if you’re going into production, start taking on PA jobs on larger sets. Start a film blog and start writing. Start assistant editing. It’s a lot to add on an already crowded plate, but there won’t be an empty abyss you’ll face the day after you get your diploma. Basically, if you’ve been in student mode, you have to start thinking of yourself as a professional before you actually “go professional.”

(Also, if you’re like nearly everyone I knew at film school and took out loans to go to school, you will especially want to do this, just for your own financial security/peace of mind’s sake.)

Take advantage of what you can before you leave school.

This means: using the school’s editing labs to put together your director’s reels; renting equipment you may not have access to anymore; using the fancy laser printers to print out beautiful copies of your beautifully edited scripts; get mentors and professors to critique your work or offer introductions to colleagues. There are all sorts of intangibles that a school environment has that you have every right to take advantage of — all that tuition you’ll be paying (or repaying, in the case of loans) should let you do this.

Accept doubt and define success.

Perhaps one of the hardest things for people to deal with after graduating is the sudden loss of structure, which school gives. Taking on projects and work for post-school is just part of a larger process. I’ve spent the last 6-7 months trying to create a structure in my life that supports both writing/filmmaking and making a living, and it’s only just started to come together. (Dear bad economy: thanks for making it so much easier. Ha!)

I realized most of all, in the months after school, that one of the things that school structures gives you in a perpetual sense of growth, of something to work for. You may be incredibly tired and stressed out, but above everything, you are growing as an artist and craftsperson. But when that sense of growth goes, things like doubt and anxiety begin to seep or rush in. The important psychological thing to do is to sustain that feeling of progress, of learning, of growing.

There’s two things to do, really. First, you have to realize that doubt is one of the biggest specters you’ll face once you leave the confines of school. It doesn’t matter if your student short got into Sundance or you landed an agent or manager or whatever…if there’s one thing I learned under the experienced filmmakers who taught me, it’s that you’ll always deal with the uncertainty of getting to do the thing you love for your living, even when you’re a “success.” So get that idea that you’ll never deal with doubt once you’ve “made it” out of your head. I don’t have any wise words on doubt, other than to remember what made you love making films (or writing stories or designing clothes or whatever) in the first place, and try to carve out some definition of success and achievement that isn’t defined by an external set of circumstances.

That leads to the second thing to do, which I got from Danielle LaPorte‘s brilliant Fire Starter Sessions: Ask yourself how you want to feel in your work? Most of us would say “happy” or “successful,” but it really pays to be specific about this: what does “happy” or “successful” mean to you? Challenged, peaceful, sexy, powerful, liberated, bold, innovative, loving, intellectually brave? Then, seek out and create experiences that make you feel that way. That’s what I try to remember. I’ll let you know how that goes :-)

[Edit: if you're looking for general perspectives on getting an MFA in film (or other fine arts discipline), here is the entry for you.]

Sigh/Cry: “I Don’t Have Any Time to Write Anymore!” And How I Got There

Wah. Progress on my novel has slowed to a crawl, and I’ve reached the point where I’m lucky to get in even one paragraph a day on it. I miss my teenager skater werewolves so much, and yet it’s become so hard to find the time to write them into existence. “Finding the time” is such a bane in a writer’s existence, especially writers who are trying to cram in their work amidst a million other things like, oh, earning money to live. My complaint is not in any way new or original.

The thing is, it’s entirely my fault my life is structured in such a way as to make it hard to write. Time management is an active process that’s much more than setting priorities and finding the time to do them–you have to look at your life and take some responsibility for how crazy your schedule has become, and then find ways to keep the problem from happening in the first place. When I take a hard look at my schedule and ask myself “How did this happen to me?”, this is really the answer:

+ I’M A PROJECT SLUT
I always have way too many projects happening. Part of this is the nature of the film business, where you keep a lot of things juggling till something catches fire. Between my style/pop culture blog, the web series (should start editing it now), the novel, my new freelance “professional blogging” gig, my own little film experiments, the websites I design, my web consulting–I’m just spread too thin. I need to learn the value of focus, or else nothing in my life is going to get done.

+ I SAY “YES” WAY TOO MUCH
To everything! To projects (see above), going out, last-minute road trips, secret sample sales, concerts, free movies, impromptu drinks! Part of it is joie de vivre and living life and NYC, but I need to say more “NO”!

+ MY SCHEDULE IS TOO ERRATIC
Outside of having to blog for a gig in the morning, there isn’t much else structure in my week or day. In some ways, I love this freedom, but in other ways, I find myself accommodating to other schedules too often, simply because I can. I need to carve out some hard-and-fast inviolable time for myself, where my energy and attention are optimal, instead fitting things around priorities that others set for me.

Right now I’m looking at getting up earlier to write (before I have to buckle down and get to my freelance writing gig, which is very time-sensitive). It’s the only alternative, because by the time I get to the end of the day, I’m too fried to write very well. Wish me luck!