I write on technology for my day job now, and I am surrounded by it in my daily life. Many of my “tools” are technology: computer, iPod, cameras, microphones. And yet, on mornings when I am trying to update my iPod touch and shuffle files to and fro, clean out my inbox, reply to Twitter, keep up on Facebook and Tumblr, draft out blog posts for all the different avenues, I am thinking: this is too much.
I want to write, and I want to write a lot. And deeply. And imaginatively. I want writing to be poetic and engaged and magical and funny and sometimes strange and off-putting: just full and rich and witchy as I can make it. When I am dealing with all these technological clean-ups and “maintenance,” I think to myself: how is this really helping anything, really? When I look at my Delicious queue of all the things I’ve clipped to read, do I really think this will make my soul sing, my mind expand, my heart get more tender and beautifully open?
I recently updated by iPod to iOS 5 and it took 7.5 hours and essentially threw off my schedule for the day. I thought, this process is having too much power over my life right now. Worse, I let it.
Technology is supposed to make life easier and more beautiful, not to be yet another thing “to keep up with,” the 21st century version of keeping up with the Jones, getting ahead, yet another rat race to engage in. With that in mind, I am going to be thinking about realigning all these elements soon. Stripping down, cleaning up, making what’s left as lovely as I can possibly make it. And how as well, so I can make my little contributions of (hopefully) loveliness and magic with as much ease and little friction as possible. That is what I’ve been thinking lately. I offloaded my old website design business and am no longer making websites for others, but it is time I applied those skills and talents for myself.
In the meantime, I think I will be done with the latest revision of my novel this weekend, just in time for Samhain. I’m on pagan time in my world. And you know, I think the first chapters are ready to leave the cave. I think. I think. My heroine and her sweetheart are ready to meet the world, even if for a brief moment. The thought makes me scaredy-cat and suddenly perfectionist, anxious and squicky-feeling inside, but that is me being a small person, and I will get over it.