I have been thinking about what is “enough” lately. There are so many opportunities to think about “enough”! Big or small, mundane or profound, the chance to reflect is always there: Am I getting enough sleep? Did I eat enough? Do I have enough money to live? Have I worked on this novel enough? Is there enough giving and receiving of affection in this relationship? Do I have enough scarves in my wardrobe, or do I really need another one, though it is cute and striped? If you really take a chance to look at it, “enough” is a concept to always grapple with.

Give it a go: observe how often the question of “enough” comes up in daily life. You’d be surprised.

enough, adj.: occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations

Enough is rather a strange concept, especially in a world where there are such extremes of lack and excess, on all levels from personal to geopolitical. It seems abstract, until you’re forced to make it concrete — and then you realize how very difficult it is to know what is enough.

Like in negotiating contracts, something I did a lot as when I did web design: what is the right amount where I feel properly compensated for the work I’m doing, and the client feels as if they are getting value? It is a balancing act, a very tricky one, involving figuring out your worth (generally very difficult for women to do, I must add), figuring out what is enough to satisfy two possibly opposing positions, putting a specific dollar amount on it.

The stakes are clear and concrete: if it is not enough, you’ll likely suffer for it on a very material, very real way. If it is too much, you may lose the contract, the gig, the job, or the client will secretly hate you and make your life miserable by squeezing all he or she can out of you.

But I also see the debate of what is enough play out in other, less expected ways. Like the scarf example above, or my penchant for plaid button-down shirts. Right now, I have four plaid shirts. I had two just two weeks ago, two which I loved and wore all the time. I was satisfied with two, but a little restless — you know that way you get with clothing sometimes, especially if you love it.

I was happy with two; maybe another, and another, would make me happier? But now I’m looking at the fourth one, wondering if four is a bit excessive. Maybe I should return it. Maybe three is enough? The irony is, now that I have more, I don’t wear them as much.

If you have too little of something, you could ache with longing. But sometimes, when you have too much of something, it loses its magic and power of enchantment. You take it for granted, grow bored with it, or are maybe paralyzed by too much of a good thing.

(Reading Barry Schwartz enlightened me to the idea that having too many choices saps the satisfaction gained from whatever you are deciding upon. I think of Barry whenever I walk into a Sephora and just stick with Nars lipsticks.)

“Enough” doesn’t really have a lot of glamour, and most people connote it with “average or sufficient.” Yuck, who wants that? That is so boring! So dull, so grey.

But now, when I think of “enough,” I think of equilibrium, a kind of harmony, neither lacking or overwhelmed by too much. One of my favorite ideas I picked up in my excursions into Spiritually Scandinavian was the concept of “lagom.” It is a word that is like “enough,” but is fairly untranslatable and has more cultural significance. My Swedish friend says it means more “just right,” or “optimal,” or “balanced.” Like Goldilocks wants, just right.

What is just right for you in life, in terms of love, work, friendship, activity, socializing, writing, buying, seeing, making? A question to always consider, an answer likely always evolving.